March Madness

So this year�s NCAA Division I Men�s Basketball Tournament or the NCAADIMBT, has been insane.  No one would have thought that the number 1 overall seed would lose to a No. 9 seed school called Northern Iowa in the second round.  Upset after upset has led to a very interesting result in the Final Four�We now have two No. 5 seed teams (Michigan St. and Butler), a No. 2 seed (West Virginia) and a lone No. 1 seed (Duke).

Despite all the uncertain pitfalls that brackets have endured this year, I still not completely out because I have Duke winning it all.  Only Saturday and Mondays games will tell, but I�m hoping Coach K and his blue devils can pull it out.  One thing is for sure, this year�s tournament has been a wild ride and I love seeing the underdog do well.  When it comes to basketball, it just doesn�t get much better than this.

All this got me to thinking�what if Superheroes competed in such a bracket style tournament? Who would be the final four? Who would win it all?  I have assembled a Superhero Tournament Bracket for you to fill out yourself to answer these questions.

Post your findings in the comments section including who your final four, and Runner Up, and Champion. What brought you to your conclusions?

Fools

Originally posted April 1, 2009.

There is a sizeable quantity of the world�s population that falls into the infamous category titled �Fools.� In case you are the type of person who wonders whether or not you fit into this category, I have provided a list of things that will most certainly qualify you for such placement should you find yourself doing any or all of these things one or more times within the timeline of your life.

Have you ever�

01. Built your house upon the sand?

02. Dressed in a jester costume?

03. Rushed in?

04. Thought you�d struck it rich upon finding some pyrite?

05. Identified yourself as being able to relate to Quasimodo?

06. Bit the hand that feeds you?

07. Melted the inner workings of all the doorknobs in your house with a propane blow torch so that upon cooling they locked up and became unusable�then hoped your parents wouldn�t notice?

If not, then you�re safe�nothing else could possibly label you a bona fide fool other than this exhaustive list. Happy April 1 everybody.

I am a quarter century old today. Not counting the 9 months I was alive prior to birth.

Video Harvest � Volume 4

So a slightly meager Vid Harvest for you this week.

For some reason the two vids I chose to post are both in slow motion, shot with high speed cameras�coincidence?

 

 

Dejavu Explained

Dejavu is the phenomenon that occurs when a person experiences something for the first time, but had previously seen it as a future event.  Consequently, the event did not exist in the past except as a flash or vision of what was to come before it had actually come.  Most of the time, the subject is unaware that what they are seeing is from their future and not what they are experiencing in the present here and now.  Dejavu can be said to be a single event that has a reflective surface, giving the illusion of two separate events with similar or exact specifics. That being said, we shall test this thing called dejavu on you, the reader.

 

�Don�t count every hour in the day, make every hour in the day count.�

 

�Don�t count every hour in the day, make every hour in the day count.�

 

Now you might say this is not dejavu but rather just repetition. The question that must answered is this; did you read the quote twice or did you remember a reflection of reading it prior to actually reading it?

Dejavu is the phenomenon that occurs when a person experiences something for the first time, but had previously seen it as a future event.  Consequently, the event did not exist in the past except as a flash or vision of what was to come before it had actually come.  Most of the time, the subject is unaware that what they are seeing is from their future and not what they are experiencing in the present here and now.  Dejavu can be said to be a single event that has a reflective surface, giving the illusion of two separate events with similar or exact specifics. That being said, we shall test this thing called dejavu on you, the reader.

 

�Don�t count every hour in the day, make every hour in the day count.�

 

�Don�t count every hour in the day, make every hour in the day count.�

 

Now you might say this is not dejavu but rather just repetition. The question that must answered is this; did you read the quote twice or did you remember a reflection of reading it prior to actually reading it?

Weathering

Originally posted on March 25, 2009.

We�ve all experienced the elements at some point in our lives. It�s just a cold (then hot then cold again) hard fact of life that when you leave something outside for any extended period of time, the earth kills it. I can�t remember how many times I had left my dad�s tools out in the yard for days before finally remembering and hoping he hadn�t come looking for them. When I went back to get them they were not as they once were, if you know what I mean. After days of the sun beating down on them, then rain pounding their metallic finish, then wind cooling and grabbing at their oxidizing molecules, the shiny objects become dull, rusty and weak. This is what Earth does to things that move very slowly.

Let�s go even further, 10 years passes and the effects are seen everywhere. Rotting and composting turn useful objects into worthless piles of rot and compost. Dark materials are made into lighter colors due to bleaching by the suns harmful UV rays. Scientists and home depot sales people call this process �weathering.� They fail to mention that how much they love weathering because it keeps them rich�..oh how I loath orange apron and unneeded back brace. Sic est porcus.

So imagine with me for a moment what would happen if Japan developed a device that could incur massive and rapid weathering upon the intended target. The science would be quite simple, just figure out a way to super accelerate the process of oxidation so that atoms loose their electrons more readily without causing a chain reaction that would spread beyond the targeted kill zone.

Imagine the good that could be done with this technology�landfills would all but vanish, whole forests could be turned into fertile potting soil in a matter of minutes, building demolition would be easy, and when you use the device on your neighbor�s yappy dog there is no evidence.

Of course you�d have your share of punk delinquent kids driving around oxidizing mailboxes but how is this really any different then smashing them with a baseball bat? I�ll tell you how it�s different: oxidizing is quieter, safer, doesn�t dent a perfectly good bat, and grants the mailbox owner with free potting soil.

Video Harvest � Volume 3

 

Next we have a very creative video from the DK publishing company.

 

For you SciFi fans out there, here is a preview of the new Predators movie coming out this Summer.

 

And for the kids, Shrek Forever After.  I�m not quite sold on this iteration of Shrek�

 

Leave your thoughts in the comments section as usual.

St. Pat. D.

So today is Saint Patrick�s Day. That great historical remembrance of the champion of Catholicism in Ireland, Saint Patrick�that has now be turned into an occasion for:

-Drinking
-Getting drunk
-Violently pinching people who don�t wear green
-Consuming large quantities of alcohol
-Intentionally polluting the Chicago river
-Swallowing green beer by the keg
-Promoting witchcraft and magic
-Swimming in pools of beer
-Making fun of Irish people
-Giving a false sense of hope by promising pots of gold
-Promoting the idea that a thing called �luck� exists
-Insinuating that shamrocks provide larger quantities of this �luck�
-Making fun of leprechauns
-Commercializing the holiday by selling green party supplies
-Men wearing dresses
-etc.
-etc.
-etc.

So now Saint Paddy�s Day is pretty much a dumb holiday. Also, women wearing hose with open toe shoes is a fashion faux pas. I�m on a horse.

Mr. ;

Originally posted March 11, 2009.

Good morning class, today we are going to explore the intricacies and nuances of one of my very favorite punctuation marks; a little friend of the literary world that I like to call Mr. Semi-colon.

The Semi-colon was first use by a Mr. Ben Jonson in 1591 after his 4th grade teacher had been constantly scolding him for not dotting his lower case i�s and j�s. In an extreme overcompensation, Ben decided to play it safe and dot every character in his paper in order to keep from repeating his past failure. Upon reading his paper, the teacher was immediately flustered by the boy�s excessive dotting but was suddenly calmed and even excited upon reaching Ben�s first dotted comma. It just seemed to fit so well as a means for pausing in a sentence; and thus, the Semi-colon was born.

Since that fateful day in 1591, the Semi-colon�s popularity has sky-rocketed to unimaginable heights. It is estimated that semicolons are used 6.023 x 10

Video Harvest � Volume 2

This week�s VidHarvest�enjoy.
First up, the comedy duo Rhett and Link charm us with their performance in a very creative use of stop-motion animation.

 

Next, we have the new trailer for Iron Man 2 that hit the web this week.

 

Thirdly, The new trailer for TRON: Legacy. 

 

And last but certainly least�a ten second preview of the Twilight: Eclipse Trailer�Yes, not even joking.  They released a pre-release preview of the preview. And Jacob is shirtless � that never happens. Also, the line he delivers in this is extremely creepy.

 

OnStar

Fact: OnStar provides subscription-based communications, in-vehicle security, hands free calling, turn-by-turn navigation, and remote diagnostics systems throughout the United States and Canada. 

At first glance, this service appears to be something that could be very useful to various driver groups and classes.

-The forgetful driver - who is constantly locking their keys in the vehicle.
-The mechanically challenged driver � who is constantly forgetting how to start their vehicle.
-The hand-eye coordinationally challenged driver � who is constantly running their car off the road and crashing into things.
-The unaware of their surroundings driver - who is constantly having their car stolen.

But how much privacy and freedom are we willing to give up in order to compensate for these issues?

Apart from the fact that Onstar always knows your vehicle�s location, they also have control over your vehicle�s normal functions. Onstar is currently running a commercial showing how they remotely controlled a stolen SUV and forced it to pull over by activating the brakes and cutting the engine. So what happens if the system malfunctions or someone on the remote end pushes the wrong button? 

I�m sitting in my brand new Onstar enabled SUV cruising down an empty street. Suddenly my car cuts off and its brake bring me to a dead stop without my pushing the brake pedal. The speaker in my dashboard crackles to life as a voice says �Stewart C. Adams, you have been selected as an accidental death candidate.  Rest in peace.� The speaker shuts off and suddenly I feel the whole car move - as the realization hits me that I am positioned on a draw bridge over a deep river.  I reach over to open the door but it is locked and the control button is unresponsive, as is the window control.  I beat on the window as hard as I can but it is too strong.  I now feel the lightness in my stomach like riding a rollercoaster as the SUV plummets into the icy water.  No one can hear my screams for help and the horn and headlights aren�t working as I try to get a signal out. I am now dead.  All the vehicle�s functions have been re-enabled and the investigation finds no evidence of my carefully executed murder.

Sure, it sounds like something out of a Harrison Ford film�until you consider that Onstar would actually have such capabilities if they so chose to use them for that purpose.  But then you might say �But they�re a private company, they aren�t going to kill off their customers.� A logical idea�until you remember that Onstar is a subsidiary company of General Motors who�s majority share holding is now owned by the United States Government.

OnStar is watching you�

Medieval Times

Originally posted March 4, 2009.

 

This past weekend I experienced something truly goodly�nay, I might even go so far as to say I experienced something spectacular. To begin with, I was served with a plate full of meat and bread by my very own meat and bread serving wench� and even though she was moderately fair to behold I could not convince the blonde fellow seated at my right to ask for her hand. He kept stating that he already had found his true love whom was seated at his right side. Regardless, I finished off my half a chicken and spare rib with two full pints of Pepsi and beheld the tournament of champions as they competed in hand to hand combat, awesomeness contests and the joust. I of course was seated in the Blue Knight�s section and therefore quoted the scene from The Cable Guy constantly throughout the evening�and what do you know, the Red Knight went down, down down down. During the show I got to see a real live Poopsmith in his natural habitat doing what it is Poopsmiths do�It was about this time that another wench tried to sell me an light-up rose, again I looked to my right suggesting that my dinner companion make the purchase as a token of his true undying love � not surprisingly, he said �No� which only supports my theory that his love is a shallow loveless feeling not actually containing any love. Anyway, back to the tourney�(Spoiler Alert) the yellow knight kills the green knight and saves the prince who had only managed to get himself captured and really served no real purpose as a character in the story. Upon completion of the tourney, I was escorted to the throne room and knighted by the king himself. Harold the Herald, rang out a joyous proclamation on his trumpet and all the peasants rejoiced.

Video Harvest � Volume 1

I am trying out a new blog segment for SAP that will tentatively be posted on Fridays. This segment will consist of funny/entertaining videos that I have come across on the web and find to be cool/awesome. Depending on the quality of videos and the response to this segment, I may or may not post every week.  In the meantime let me know what you think in the comments section. If you have a video that you think merits posting on this site, please email me at stewart.adams@gmail.com.

 

First up, we have a quality news report from the Onion News Network.

 

Next, we have two music videos from famed viral video band �OkGo� with their newest song, �This too shall pass.�

 

 

And lastly, something for the video game nerds out there. The Halo Reach Multiplayer trailer.

TI-83

 

Originally posted on February 25, 2009.

Hi, it�s me, your calculator. Yes, I know it�s kind of weird for you to be busily working and then suddenly be interpersonally communicated to by an inanimate object, not to mention an engineer-type inanimate object. But let�s face it, we have to talk�you see, I don�t think I�m being treated fairly through this arrangement. Sure it has it perks, I get free rides in your backpack, I get to make you laugh when you make pictures using math symbols, and I have the pleasure of knowing that I am infinitely smarter than you as evident in practically all your math exams.

Even these fluffy benefits however, are considerably outweighed but the horrible treatment I must go through on a day to day basis. For one thing, the endless poking has to stop. It�s embarrassing when someone walks past and there I am being poked by that terrible index finger over and over as if I were a baby. Sometimes when you�re nervous you actually inflict pain on my rubberized function button. I fear that soon the labels on my buttons will rub off and I will become useless in the purpose for which I was created. Part of this problem could be fixed if you would just store your programs and formulas in my onboard memory instead of using up all that space with your silly text pictures�the long in the short of it is that they are killing me, slowly. Also, please keep in mind that it is not my fault when you can�t remember the Pythagorean Theorem and throwing me across the room and into the wall does not help the situation.

Another thing you need to know is that girls don�t think it�s funny when you tell them your calculator can give them a TAN, chop LOGs, and forgive SIN�you�re essentially stating that you have no idea what those functions do and are confirming that you are officially un-datable if not certifiably insane.

So please, do your poor calculator a favor and help me help you. Always remember: pi is not 3.14, nine is really just a confused six, and above all, never drink and derive.