Confessions of a Female Geek

Originally posted April 13, 2009.

I�m not sure when it happened. I have some idea as to how, but the change came so gradually and seamlessly that by the time I finally noticed it was too late. Perhaps the most tragic thing is I�ve never heard of anyone turning back from such a condition.

I�m speaking of course of being a geek � or in my case, being assimilated by geeks.

I completely blame this evolution on my husband, Max and Frank � though they would argue I have a propensity to geek-like behavior as it is. (So, I liked LOTR to the point of wearing shirts with bell sleeves and writing my name in elvish�that doesn�t prove anything). We can argue nature versus nurture some other time�

One of the first tip offs was the realization one evening that I could recognize what weapon my husband was using on Halo 3 (in social slayer) just by listening from the next room. From picking up on the distinct clicking of the needler, the rhythms of AR and BR to the solid echoing quality of the sniper rifle, I feared I was beginning to slip irrevocably into the realm of geekdom.

Then one day, I caught myself inadvertently passing judgment on an individual who only used Internet Explorer as her web browser. She didn�t even know of the existence of Mozilla. I then began questioning the mental capabilities of those who refuse to investigate the wonders of gmail, tabbed browsing and keyboard shortcuts � but these are all basic, right? This doesn�t in and of itself make me a geek�but it gets worse.

I�ve begun to pick up geek-talk. Yes, I can use �assimilated� with the full knowledge of its reference to the Borg. I accidentally use gamer terms like p0wned in everyday conversation. I�ve taken part in debates as to whether Captain Picard is better than Kirk (my answer is Picard, if you�re wondering). I am untrusting of AI�s ability to hold to Asimov�s laws and fear the development of a system of Skynet proportions. I even noted when we were out to dinner that leftover skewers if kept in one�s purse could come in handy in the case of a zombie apocalypse, and I don�t even like zombie stories.

Oh, and don�t even get me started on comic books. I�ve caught myself correcting guys on their super-hero facts, such as Superman�s father�s name, Spider-man�s girlfriends (the ones from the comic books, not the movies), Batman�s real name and fictional comic book towns.

I was inwardly proud of myself yet somewhat scared when I began to understand the t-shirts on thinkgeek.com, including the on that reads: �There are 10 kinds of people in the world, those who understand binary code and those who don�t.� I�m not sure if that�s worse than the hatred I�m harboring for Billy Mitchell upon robbing Steve Wiebe of his title in Donkey Kong or not.

At any rate, I think it�s safe to say that I�m showing early (or perhaps more advanced) signs of being a geek. All in all it�s not a bad thing. I�ve learned a lot and if nothing else it has enabled me to engage in a wider variety of conversations and be a more proficiently efficient user of technology � not to mention knowing how to defend myself against aliens, zombies, vampires or the flood. In closing, as I sit here wondering if I would rather have a high medi-chlorian count or own Scotty�s teleportation device, I would just like to say: Be warned, girls � you are what you marry.