Medieval Times

Originally posted March 4, 2009.

 

This past weekend I experienced something truly goodly�nay, I might even go so far as to say I experienced something spectacular. To begin with, I was served with a plate full of meat and bread by my very own meat and bread serving wench� and even though she was moderately fair to behold I could not convince the blonde fellow seated at my right to ask for her hand. He kept stating that he already had found his true love whom was seated at his right side. Regardless, I finished off my half a chicken and spare rib with two full pints of Pepsi and beheld the tournament of champions as they competed in hand to hand combat, awesomeness contests and the joust. I of course was seated in the Blue Knight�s section and therefore quoted the scene from The Cable Guy constantly throughout the evening�and what do you know, the Red Knight went down, down down down. During the show I got to see a real live Poopsmith in his natural habitat doing what it is Poopsmiths do�It was about this time that another wench tried to sell me an light-up rose, again I looked to my right suggesting that my dinner companion make the purchase as a token of his true undying love � not surprisingly, he said �No� which only supports my theory that his love is a shallow loveless feeling not actually containing any love. Anyway, back to the tourney�(Spoiler Alert) the yellow knight kills the green knight and saves the prince who had only managed to get himself captured and really served no real purpose as a character in the story. Upon completion of the tourney, I was escorted to the throne room and knighted by the king himself. Harold the Herald, rang out a joyous proclamation on his trumpet and all the peasants rejoiced.