Mindless Mindless Mindless Repetition

The following is a critical dissection of the pop song I Gotta Feeling by The Black Eyed Peas.  This particular tune is currently being vastly overplayed on Top 40 radio stations across the country and has confirmed beyond all reasonable doubt that song writing and music as an art form have all but vanished into the dark abyss of mindless repetition.  Some of the lyrics have been softened so as not to seem crass or offend any of our younger readers, after all this is a family website.

Black Eyed Peas I Gotta Feeling

Chorus:

I gotta feeling that tonight's gonna be a good night
That tonight's gonna be a good night
That tonight's gonna be a good, good night
A feeling that tonight's gonna be a good night
That tonight's gonna be a good night
That tonight's gonna be a good, good night
A feeling, woohoo, that tonight's gonna be a good night
That tonight's gonna be a good night
That tonight's gonna be a good, good night
A feeling, woohoo, that tonight's gonna be a good night
That tonight's gonna be a good night
That tonight's gonna be a good, good night

V. 1

Tonights the night night
Lets live it up
I got my money
Lets spend it up
Go out and smash it
Like oh my gosh
Jump off that sofa
Lets get get off

I know that well have a ball
If we get down
And go out
And just loose it all
I feel stressed out
I wanna let it go
Lets go way out spaced out
And losing all control

Fill up my cup
Mozoltov
Lets paint the town
Well shut it down
Lets burn the roof
And then well do it again

Let's do it, let's do it, let's do it, let's do it
And do it and do it, let's live it up
And do it and do it and do it, do it, do it
Let's do it, let's do it, let's do it.

Chorus

V. 2 Repeat V. 1, No joke.

V. 3 Which is really more like a bridge with key and tempo changes so that the listener can hurry up and get back to the meat of the songthe chorus.

Lets live it up
Lets do it
Here we come
Here we go
We gotta rock (Rock rock rock rock)
Easy come
Easy go
Now we on top (Top top top top)
Feel the shot
Rock it, dont stop (Stop stop stop stop) Um, yes please?
Round and round
Up and down
Around the clock

Monday, Tuesday,
Wednesday, and Thursday
Friday, Saturday
Saturday to Sunday Nothing like randomly throwing the days of the week into a songthis is top notch lyric writing people.

Get get get get get with us
You know what we say
Party every day
Pa-pa-pa-party every day

Chorus (x2)

Conclusion:

Just because you put the word good in a song 32 hundred times that doesnt mean the song inherits the meaning of the repeated word.

Leaving for Oklahoma tonight.

Douglasville water tastes weird.

Dude, it's like cold outside...

wishing Brady a preemptive Happy Birthday and farewell as he leaves for another tour of duty this weekend.

Clipping my fingernails...because it's Monday. Also, why are boys such jerks?

New favorite radio commercial: Geico - "Pothole."

Coffee makes me happy. As do Fridays, Gila Monsters, and not cutting myself with X-acto knives.

I can't wait to buy bottled moon water...

Wii price drop to $199...3 years after release, and it's still overpriced.

This is me saying "Congratulations!" to Jon and Nakitta. :) I'm gonna be a 1st cousin once removed!

Real Ultimate Power

Fact: Gila Monsters  are awesome, and by awesome I mean totally sweet.

This blog post is all about REAL GILA MONSTERS.  This blog post is awesome. My Name is Stewart and I cant stop thinking about Gila Monsters. These guys are so cool, and by cool I mean totally sweet.

Facts:

    01. Gila Monsters are reptiles.

    02. Gila Monsters fight ALL the time.

    03. The purpose of the Gila Monster is  to flip out and kill people.

Testimonial:

Gilas can kill anyone they want!  Gila Monsters cut people ALL the time and don't even think twice about it.  These guys are so crazy and awesome that they flip out ALL the time.  I heard that there was this Gila Monster who was eating at a diner.  And when some dude dropped a spoon the Gila Monster killed the whole town.  My friend Mark said that he saw a Gila Monster totally uppercut some kid just because the kid opened a window.

And that's what I call REAL Ultimate Power!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

If you don't believe that Gila Monsters have REAL Ultimate Power you better get a life right now or they will chop your toe off!!!  It's an easy choice, if you ask me.

Gila Monsters are sooooooooooo sweet that I can't believe it sometimes, but I feel it inside my heart.  These guys are totally awesome and that's a fact.  Gila Monsters are fast, smooth, cool, strong, powerful, and sweet.  I can't wait to start yoga next year.  I love ninjas with all of my body.

Q and A:

Q: Why is everyone so obsessed about Gila Monsters?
A: Gila Monsters are the ultimate paradox. On the one hand they don't give a flip, but on the other hand, Gila Monsters are very careful and precise.

Q: I heard that Gila Monsters are always cruel or mean.  What's their problem?
A: Whoever told you that is a total liar.  Just like other reptiles, Gila Monsters can be mean OR totally awesome.

Q: What do Gila Monsters do when they're not cutting off toes or flipping out?
A: Most of their free time is spent flying, but sometime they stab.  (Ask Mark if you don't believe me.)

Warning:

If you see, hear, smell, taste or feel a Gila Monster anywhere near you, run away as fast as you possibly can.  You never know what might trigger a Gila Monster to flip out so the best defense against them is to be as far from them as possiblenot that it will really matter.  Did I mention that Gila Monsters are totally sweet?

Heroes: Season 4 is now on Netflix Streaming.

Hmm, the North Georgia State Fair starts this Thursday...

I can say that I legitimately like a total of 4 Owl City songs...

Prepare to drop.

FLOOD!

I wish it would rain like this all the time...

"Cloudy with a chance of meatballs" is a great movie...go see it.

><> "Sardines are totally gross."

Just preordered Windows 7 Professional Upgrade for $29.99 :D

going to a Bachelor Party...someone is gonna experience shame tonight!

30 dollar Windows 7 upgrade for students...Microsoft, you're amazing. http://ping.fm/yzsWd

Oooo...the new bungie.net is up.

Facing The Boss

One day Henry McLeroy decided to go out on a limb.  Shaky and unstable, the limb was teetering on the edge of civilized humanitarian interaction and plummeting disaster, destruction and death. Loosening his necktie, Henry stared into his bosss eyes as he reasoned the situation out in his head and attempted to weigh the pros and cons of the decision he had already made, but had not yet implemented.  Slowly and methodically, Henry inched his way along the limb, furthering himself from the stability of the safe truck of silence and introvertedness. He knew he was going to do it, yet despite his mental resolve he has not yet taken that leap of faith and gone for it.  Sure the risk was tremendous, and even if he accomplished his goal there was no guarantee of success but that did not matter to Henry

With a long stride Henry stepped out toward the skinny end of the limb and let go completely of the truck, for a moment he balanced there as if weightless in perfect equilibrium.  YOU SHALL NOT PASS! Henry yelled at the top of his lungs til all the air he could hold was depleted.  The boss stared at Henry for a second then all at once the limb Henry stood on, shattered into millions of splintering splinters.  Henry felt the gravity of his dire situation grab him and yank downward as despair filled his heart.  The boss removed a flaming sword from his belt and left Henrys avatar in a smoldering heap at the base of his TV screen.  Henry sighed and put down his controllerhe would have to fight another day, his mom had the bagel pizza bites ready in the oven.

sitting in my office listening to the rain and thinking about sponges...

><8> Flounder fish.

finally got my capture card working, curse you pinnacle and you non-vista compatability issues.

Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides ~ Summer 2011

Remember, remember the 11th of September.

Rabbit Trails

I was fully prepared for what didnt happen.  My focus and attention where moving in harmony with one another as if dancing to a legato waltz in the key of A. As my readiness level reached its maximum I contemplated the existence of a scale for measuring such levels in humans.  Clearly there would be outside factors that would affect the scale; adrenaline, bodily functions, external objects or forces, etc. Catching myself, I realized that my thinking about the scale had in turn lowered my attentions to the task at hand by distracting my mind.  I then added branches to the scale chart in my mind that were meant to represent the rabbit trails of human thought not unlike the one I had just experienced.  This further confirmed my idea as I noticed that once again my  thoughts had turned away from my goal and toward a mental tangent about mental tangents.  Re-focusing my focus I attempted to block all outside stimuli from my brain only to realize that the main source of distraction was in my brain itself.  My thoughts visualized a long tunnel I assumed to be a representation of tunnel vision and all the implications therein.  If only there was a way for me to generate precise, directed tunnel vision toward the thing which my subconscious knew to be the priority. My conscious seemed to be bored with that objective and was resisting with all its might to find something else to dwell on.  In that moment I realized that the task I was attempting to perform was not something that I wanted to do but rather something I needed to do.  The distinction came as a stark contrast that was shocking even to me as the truth of the situation became known.  Had I just not been being honest with myself? Or had desire to do what I should overshadowed the desire to do what I want?  Suddenly, a lady walked in to the classroom and said Professor Brock is sick at home and will not be coming in. Exam day had been cancelled.

Labor Day

Next week marks the unofficial end of the Summer as it will be the fist Monday of September also known as Labor Day. You can almost smell the irony when a country decides to celebrate labor by taking a day off.  Of course isnt that what labor unions are best at doing anyway? 

Look at the Major League Baseball Player Union strike that happened a few years backyou had guys making millions of dollars per year to play a game, and yet they refuse to work until they get more.  The reality is that these players didnt really need the money, they just didnt feel much like going to work so the used the strike as a means to get some time off. 

The truth about Labor day however is the lesser-known fact that more pregnant women go into labor on Labor day than any other day of the year. There is no real scientific explanation for this phenomenon  but it has been confirmed time and time again by statistical observation and verified by millions of women around the planet. The holiday was later named for the labor unions by feminists who felt that having a day devoted to honoring women in labor was degrading and reminded society that women are different from men. 

So enjoy your day off and know that you are benefitting from one of the greatest holiday contradictions in calendar history.